Inventrix's Blog

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Negativity…For What?

I’m not saying don’t EVER be negative…ok I AM saying that, but I think for most every living breathing human being that will be nigh on impossible…whatever. I’m not talking about perfection I’m talking about intent and action. Now. What you do in this present moment. That’s the only thing that is important and being positive (not negative) in this moment and in each “this moment” that you have is key.
Key to what? you might ask. Everything. I would answer. Yeah, oh…Doc…Everything. you say with incredulity. Yes, Everything! I say, But I’ll start small, ok?
Let’s not worry about EVERYTHING or PERFECTION, let us simply concern ourselves with what’s on our mind now and our best efforts to think as positively about that/those things as we can. Ok? I’ll do it, if you will (again, I’m doing it anyway, but you know…). So within our best effort to think positively on our challenges (whether they be tasks or relationships) we can give ourselves the energy to address these and move them in the right direction.

Criticism and complaining is the worst kind of negative thinking in regard to getting what you want and enjoying your experiences and interactions with others. I have one special person in my life who still gets the brunt of my criticism and complaints–which mostly, but not always stays in my head. And for the most part our relationship does NOT improve. It stays right in the negative zone. Pretty much every experience with this person sucks and when they don’t suck they’re neutral at best. That is so WEAK. I’m working on it! I’m working on it! Do you have such a person? Ugh!

Criticism and complaining just bring you more to criticize and complain about. Bleh! I don’t want that! I DO NOT WANT THAT! I feel it in my chest when I think about just getting more from my criticism and complaints now. NO THANKS! That feeling of “no more, thank you!” is what backs me right off that negative thought path. I would rather think of something gross than think of something negative–like a cigarette floating in a greasy bowl of cold soup. YUCK! But it’s better than complaining about something I DO NOT want more of. Turns me right away from that worse line of thought. Plus I’m not going to think about filthy cigarette water for long, but I could go on for hours criticizing the one I don’t love. HA! No, stop, now!

And criticism, complaining and negative thought paths don’t serve any real purpose. Does complaining usually fix anything? Occasionally you can get a bill adjusted or something fixed, but in terms of your intimate relationships does it ever really create the change you want? Never for me. Criticism of art or dance MAY instruct (and may not), but criticism of your children (without the offering of a better alternative, particularly) will just make them feel bad (and you too, admit it) and not get you the behavior from them that you want. Allowing your mind to wander and wallow down a negative thought path again will not get you what you want. Have you ever stuck to the diet from calling yourself fat and lacking will power? Has that ever really worked for you? Never has for me. I got frustrated with my fat, but I wasn’t hating on it when I lost it. Just ready for it to go.

So that’s it. Negativity, for what? The only thing it seems to accomplish is giving you more of what you  don’t want and keeps you from the things you want. So, stop, now!

Love ya,

Doc

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November 28, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Limited Thinking is Rather Useless

Hmmmmm. I was thinking about limited thinking. About all of our (ok, my) “I can’ts” or “I shouldn’ts” or “I don’t know how to, so I won’t trys” and the worst of all, “I’m nots”. “I’m not this enough or that enough to do that.” “I’m not at this level yet, so I can’t do that.” This always ends up a self fulfilling prophecy. You say you are or you aren’t and it’s true enough, you end up being that…usually the thing that you don’t want to be.

For some reason (a lifetime of conditioning, perhaps) it is very easy to “energize” our negative thinking…especially about ourselves. I do it all the time, sad to say. Even though I may be a bit better than average at catching myself, I still do need to catch myself in my negative mindsets about me from time to time.

Oddly enough I wasn’t thinking particularly negatively about myself today, I was just having fun ice skating with my son and nieces and admiring the speedskateresque thighs of mine in my tights, when I thought about the uselessness of thinking negatively about oneself. What do we get out of it. Everything we do has some benefit to us or we won’t do it. What is the point of thinking about our “limitations”? Avoidance of failure? Not facing a fear? Maintaining old relationships based on a limited version of us? Hmmmm…all of these outcomes sound pretty sucky to me. Why choose sucky? Again the same reasons I just listed likely apply. Useless.

I can’t think of an upside to thinking of or energizing our “can’ts” and “nots”…especially not in light of the limited time we have here in this life. Every moment is precious and our last one is coming sooner or later, so spending any of our moments putting ourselves down, limiting our possibilities, and saying “no” to ourselves is a waste of time. So stop. I will, if you will.

You know I love ya!

Dr. Alissa

November 27, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Your life is all you get

I used to think that other people’s lives were better than mine. I assumed they were anyway. When other people would spend time with their families I was envious as I sat with my own. When other people had experiences or wonderful opportunities I figured they were smarter or harder working or more together or more deserving than me, I assumed this as I experienced my own interesting, wonderful life that others repeatedly told me was the most interesting and amazing they knew of.

I was pondering this the other day and figured out it doesn’t matter how good someone else’s life looks because you’ll (I’ll) never experience any other life than my own. Not appreciating the multitude of blessings in my own life really is insulting to the people and things I attract that bless me every day.

I’m stopping the insult. I am stopping the attempt to pull in the experiences of others (did I mention this is impossible? It is!) and just sit with my own and savor them. If I want my life to be different, I am well aware, that I will need to change my beliefs, thoughts and actions. That’s where the change in circumstances comes from.

I love you…that’s always my starting and ending place!

Doctor Alissa

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Check out this video…just happened on it and it is RIGHT ON POINT.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAoLDrERfko&list=FLwgmcfUZD9eicJ4sc65ppZA&index=1&feature=plpp_video

November 27, 2011 Posted by | Female, Uncategorized, Woman | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment