Inventrix's Blog

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Junk musings

Recently I have encountered a lot of junk. And by junk I mean men’s genetals. I’m of course used to encountering my husbands. Pleasantly. And a day wouldn’t be complete withouth his penis dance at the top of the stairs as my son and I sit down on the couch in the living room. “Ewww daddy!” son says. I also have seen my son’s junk on a daily basis for the past 4 years. Less so now that he’s potty trained, but still…on the regular. I can get a surprise attack from him like yesterday when he let me know his pull-up was dry that morning…he pulled it down to show me. Junk. But my daily junk exposure has grown by a third in my care for my dad. He uses a urinal and is partially bedridden so uses them regularly instead of heading to the bathroom, so his can come out at any time of the day or night that I’m down there. I also give him an injection daily in the belly which is near enough. Lastly he’s taken to not wearing pajama bottoms because it’s easier for him to toilet that way and keeps his body temperature better regulated. My exposure may have increased by half or more through my dad now that I think of it. Anywho…

Daily I push closer to my dream. In caring for my family I feel both burdened and blessed. My friends who don’t have close or any relationship with their fathers envy mine. I’m blessed. To have my name called 40 times a day between the three of them can be a bit much. Mom! Alissa! Honey! Can you…whatever it is they need from me. I feel much more locked down than when I had an infant and that was a hell of a trapped feeling. Burdened. And blessed.

Mostly I think it is my own perspective on these things that determines what I get from them and how I experience them. It is absolutely true. I have been whipping myself a lot lately about what I’m not doing well and what I’m not able to do. But these are extraordinary circumstances. Extraordinary. Even without cancer and hospice they would be, so with them. Ugh. A lot. I have been feeling miserable even though I see the miracles around me and happening for me on a daily basis. That’s been my choice. Mine alone. Yes this IS hard, but so are many things I have done and continue to do. (I won’t even bother to compare myself to other people’s hardships…)

I decided, which is why I’m up at 1:30 in the morning writing to you all, that I will take advantage of this time. Not fight it. I will get all I can out of being at home, with dad, with the family, and out of the office job job. I will make the most of my time to get my dream–my own business(es), time and money to do what I want, Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom! And the opportunity to use my skills to their highest and best…help other people reach their goals–physical and material. Grow more freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom in the world. That’s what I can do.

So I worked on my commercial yesterday and I’m determined to finish it and post it today. I’m making lists and asking for help. If you think of something to help me–just do it. I’d appreciate it.

Love,

Alissa

p.s. I got my box of free stuff from http://www.vistaprint.com! Woo! Banners, car magnets, pens, business cards, notebooks, mugs, what?! All with my imp logo and pointing people to my http://www.impgarden.com Vistaprint is cool!

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November 5, 2009 - Posted by | Branding, Buddha, Business Woman, Entrepreneur, Female, Inventing, Invention, Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich, Woman, Work Life Balance | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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